Isn't life crazy? Just last week my life was in ruins, hell just two days ago my life was in ruins, and somehow, I'm still not so sure about that, but it doesn't seem so bad after all.  I guess first off maybe I  am getting over my insomnia, i have actually gotton more than 3 hours of sleep for 2 nights in a row.  Its amazing what a little sleep can do to your dispostion.  Yesterday I had to go see John so we could come up with a plan of attack on how I should deal with Kambree and we spent the last 20 minutes or so discussing me and I walked outta there feeling like a million bucks.  I guess I have a lot of resentment towards my parents for the way they treat Kambree and how they treat me sometimes.  I wish I could be one of those people who came from a normal family life, but at 29 there isn't much I can do about that, except make my own girls' life a little better than my own.  which shouldn't be too hard, considering I think my mom and step-dad were awful parents.  I for one will never blow my kids off to sit in the bar and get drunk, or futher more sit at the kitchen table and get shit-faced.  I went without so many things in my life so my parents could buy their beer.  The first thing I lacked was love.  My kids will never grow up to feel like alcohol is a family member.  I love my kids so much thats why it is so frustrating to know there is something wrong with Kambree and I just can not put a band-aid o it to fix it.  Isn't that   what Mom's are supposed to do? Kiss the pain away, oh Kambree girl I wish I could.  I just wish my own mom would kiss me and tell me "Heidi you are doing a good job, Heidi, I'm here for you, Heidi things will get better"  Looking back I see my mom everyday and I honestly don't think she has kissed me since I was a small girl, probably 8 or 9 years old.  That is sad.  KaLee is 7 and I can't imagine there ever coming a day when I don't kiss her, I guess mothers show their love different ways, or some don't show any at all.  So kiss your kids tonite and tell them they are the world to you and without them your world would be nothing.

I wish u were listening Mom.